Crazy is in the air!

I think I mentioned it before, but men are weird. One keeps texting me but won’t ask out for a date (the hockey coach). He initiates some of the exchanges, so it’s not that he only is being nice by responding to mine.

The other one seems to have expected me to sleep with him on a second date – that or else I am his Plan B (S2).

The third one asks me out, sets the date – and nothing happens. He neither texts nor calls to specify time and place (the colleague).

The fourth one keeps calling me babe and flirting in messages and calls – and never gets together with me face to face (well, he’s married, that’s a different story I guess) (the Dutch Buddy).

The fifth one tells me he’s now decided, he’s a gay going forward, not a bisexual anymore, but says he’s still intended to sleep with me when we meet next time.

The sixth one proclaims his love for me after two dates (the SweetTalker). And he said happy Easter to me too, when I completely ignored his text earlier this week. How can I make it crystal clear to the dude that I am NOT interested.

Is it just me, or does it all sound crazy? Also, can I mix and match the above and get a decent guy by combining parts of these madmen?

PS. My nicotine patch fell off yesterday afternoon, so I had to put a replacement on. I guess because it was this fresh when I went to bed, I had this totally crazy and vivid dream (instruction for patches warns about vivid part, my subconscious added crazy to the mix). I was actually giving G. a haircut! Or rather finishing it up, and he requested a straight razor to be used! And I did a great job. And then a war broke out. And I was incredulous – even in a dream I couldn’t believe that anyone would attack Canada, of all places! Then I kept running between buildings trying to avoid the ones that were about to be bombed. The last part may have been reaction to the PS3 game I am currently playing – no explosions, but lots of shooting.


Temptations, temptations

Mr. Gorgeous and I were discussing the location for the dinner tonight. As one of the options he suggested two grill bars in G.’s town that G. frequented. I was sooooo tempted to say yay and to hope to bump into G. while having dinner with a gorgeous guy! I know it’s childish but still!

I decided against it though – just because it’s a farther drive for me than the other option – which is midway between our towns. So to not be convenient anymore I said we should meet there. After all, what are the chances G. would be there tonight? And we could do the trick next time – that is, if there is the next time.

Dating update number whatever

The date last Friday was better than “waste of makeup” but not by much. If it hadn’t been the guy’s birthday, I don’t think I’d have stayed for over three hours which I did. Not only was the guy short (like in Short short) and somewhat jerky, but also overly boastful. And although he made an attempt at dressing up – jacket and shirt and dress shoes – which I definitely appreciated – his jacked had a spot that I guess he tried to clean but you could still see it – and I had to try hard not to stare at it! So I guess this one is off the books.

Continue reading “Dating update number whatever”

Some more takeaways from my past dating history

Actions speak louder than words

That’s what one of my girlfriends told me when we were discussing G. situation at some point. She said I was to look at what he did or didn’t and completely ignore what he said. Had I followed that advice, I’d be out of the woods way earlier than I was. Actions require effort, words are easy to use. One can actually mean what they say when they do so, but if they don’t follow through, what do I care whether they were originally going to do it or were lying from the beginning? It makes no difference to me. Continue reading “Some more takeaways from my past dating history”

My updates

The Sweet Talker is back, asking me to give him another chance. Awww. How sweet. Still no.

The colleague guy I found jerky and somewhat shallow is back as well. And I don’t find him that annoying anymore actually. Not saying he’s amazing or anything, just that he’s OK. And he’s going through some rough times with his family, health related. That’s why he’s been so patchy about messaging with me. So I’ll keep him for now.

Another thing I found wondrous – it’s been just over two weeks since G. broke up with me. But I hardly hurt over it anymore. And I didn’t nearly as much as I expected I would. I mean, seeing or hearing his name or something that brings back memory of him will still make my heart skip a beat now and then, but nothing more.

Part of it is because of how infrequent our dates were – something positive out of it at least. But part of it is because I started to get disappointed in him by the time of the breakup. It wasn’t at a level where I was ready to admit it, not even to myself, but I was noticing signs of him not being what I imagined him to be – maybe those were evidence of my madness losing its intensity, doesn’t matter, all I know is that I didn’t think as highly and admiring as I used to at the height of of my obsession.

You live you learn

My gratitude goes to the awesome Alanis Morissette for the title of this post.

Actually, this is awesome:

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

I learned from the whole G. situation a number of things. But the most important is – I can do whatever I want! Thanks to my parents, my dear friends, my personality, my inner strength, I can take on anything, get up and move on. And I must strive for balance. I am unbalanced by my passion, I need to apply my strength to balance it out.

Another good lesson, I don’t have to pretend to be someone I am not. I can do whatever and if someone has issues with that, it’s their problem, not mine. I need to learn how to be self-sufficient. That will provide for an armor no one can break. My weakness was to voluntarily, willingly surrender controls to my happiness to somebody. No more!


The shitty combo

I re-read our exchange from last night after I sobered up 😳

And I am quite proud of myself. I haven’t stood up for myself to him for a while, if at all. I realise that I look pitiful in the exchange, in most of it at least. But I haven’t retorted his BS before at all. I was all understanding and accepting. I.e. retarded and stupid! One cannot just take BS from others and say nothing. Silence means acceptance! Grrr! So mad at myself. However, this explains why I keep ending up with douchebags and jerks.

Continue reading “The shitty combo”

G. messaged me

Here’s our exchange tonight (my girlfriend passed on his DVD’s to him):

Hi, hope you watched them all. You could of kept them till you did.

I didn’t. I wanted it to be a clean cut. You pulled the plug. I accepted it.

I did but why? You can’t be a friend?

No. I can’t. Told you already. It hurts too much. Not being dramatic or playing games.

Well I will give E. your movies and stuff. Don’t know why we can’t in time. We were before. You are just on a different path as I. I have neglected so much this last 4yrs. Need to find myself again and reconnect.

Good luck with that. I’m not sure what path I’m on. I need to find myself too. Just thought this could work out. Silly me, I know.

Maybe you also rushed into things too quick. I noticed you blocked me from all FB contact. Tried to Msg you about how I felt. You are a wonderful girl and you deserve to be treated and loved that way. Something I will never probably do without a lot of time.

I did. I know that now. But the way you treated me lately made me feel unwanted. It hurt too much, honestly. I was clingy before, I am aware of this. But I’ve never been envious of a Newfie redneck before either. Oh well. I’ll eventually recover. I’m sure I will.

Newfie redneck? What’s that have to do with things? I don’t see the similarities. I treated you the same all the way through. You just wanted more. Told you from beginning. I will Never marry again. Can’t have any more kids. Won’t move in after a VERY long time.

Last discussion we had you pretty much told me you didn’t love me or would ever move in with me or would consider any in-between options. I haven’t hurt this much in a while, honestly. I thought I was giving you as much freedom as I could. And as much time as you needed. Clearly I was wrong. My bad.

Well I didn’t, I really loved the time we enjoyed together. That’s all. In time it could of been. You just wanted more. No offense you were clingy and high maintenance but I’ve dated just as much. Christ I married an Italian. You need to find some one who want the same as you. If you ever want to talk you know my #. Don’t like txting my feeling. Have a nice life.

I loved the time we were having together too. Just hoped for more cooperation from you, hence the clingy part I guess. I tried my best to accommodate your schedule and your desire to balance your family, friends and well us. May have been unbalanced at times at that, I admit. Hate to text my feelings too, except that you didn’t leave me much choice, what with ditching me over the phone and all.

An update on my dating pool

The SweetTalker is gone for good. Not only was he too sweet, he started being clingy as well. Told him I went out with a girlfriend (true story! I don’t lie to guys, if I am going on a date, I’ll just say I’m busy). Later last night he started some BS on how he feels he just cannot win. Said he loved me again and bunch of blah blah on how he had never experienced anything like that before (of course he hadn’t!), but he knew where I stood so he thought he was fighting the fate and fate was a cruel bitch delivering what he wanted in an unobtainable package. Then he apologized and added he realized it was way too much.

Continue reading “An update on my dating pool”

G. ditched me last night

He called me, said we needed to talk. And then he told me that we shouldn’t be romantically involved anymore. That he thought I needed more than he could give me. He suggested we still stayed friends, as he enjoyed my company so much. Could grab a beer after work or something. NOW he can go out after work?! I said I didn’t think so, it hurt too much. I also told him that I was planning on having the same conversation with him this Saturday. Also added some crap about how he wanted to see his mom and his friends more often. That one is old. Like in ancient.

What I am pissed about is that he did it over the phone! I believed he deserved a face to face conversation. He clearly didn’t feel that way about me.

I am also super pissed at the Dutch Buddy. I suspect he told G. what was coming. Cuz when I messaged him that G. ditched me, yay me, he said nothing. I messaged two hours later, saying I was a drunk mess (which I wasn’t, not really). He replied, so he ditched you. Plot twist. Are you in good spirits about it? To what I said, look up mess in dictionary, last time I checked it didn’t have anything to do with good spirits. And I wasn’t plotting, he told me he didn’t love me nor wanted to develop this anywhere last time I saw him, that’s why I was going to quit it. 

I bet he thought his poor friend G. was about to get a very hard blow from this flirty shallow chick. Although I’ve been telling him about things that were going on, before I told him it was G. I was seeing. Ugh. So disappointing. If it was him tipping his good friend off, I hope he feels bad now! 😡