Pulling the trigger

I did it! Yesterday I blocked him and erased all contacts from my phone. Enough is enough. Still processing, but it’s for the best. #donebeinghissextoy

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Echoes of feelings passed

They say time heals – very true! The more of it goes by, the less I catch myself at thoughts of: “I should share this one with him, he’ll appreciate” or “He’d totally know the answer to this tricky question on Jeopardy” and so on. It’s like the person (or rather their projection in my mind) is gradually washing out of my system. My pulse stays at its regular rate when my memory stumbles over another reminder, and it doesn’t get as many associations anymore either. Archiving process is under way. Took it some time to trigger in earnest, but now it’s on.

Defense mechanism

I just ditched a guy after two dates. The real reason – boring AF. Can’t say that tho, no need to hurt his feelings.

So instead I said that I didn’t believe this could develop any further, so it wasn’t fair to go on.

His response – he didn’t feel romantic attraction either. I’ve been on the scene long enough to tell if a guy is attracted to me or not. Also, his actions – constant texting, leaving Match, expressing excitement about upcoming date – tell me otherwise. So it’s really funny to observe one’s defense mechanism in action.

Update

I’ve abandoned this blog, or so it seems.

JD and I have been on another round from around Valentine’s day. It doesn’t seem to be going well at all, now I really doubt this thing can succeed at all.

I’m not calling it a relationship on purpose, since couple dates and as many booty calls don’t make up for one. Three years of dating have taught me one thing for sure – a clear view of what’s going on prevents me from hurting.

Realising that the guy isn’t that into you doesn’t provide for a warm and fuzzy feeling for sure, yet it allows for developing a more calculated approach to the situation as well as takes care of unpleasant surprises that are bound to occur when reality and illusions clash.