It’s simple, but it’s hard to follow – Respect + Self-respect.
JD said something in passing another day –I am not someone who would let others treat me wrongly.
Little does he know!
However, that’s the key – if you have no self-respect, people won’t respect you – they may feel sorry for you, like you, whatnot – but respect comes from self-respect. As E.M. Remarque once said, pity is the flip side of despise. Once you are ready to trade your pride, your feel of self-worth for anything (in my case – for a guy’s approval, favours), you betray yourself. A person like that can’t possibly gain respect from others.
Same is true for respect for the person you’re seeing – if you don’t respect them, they will either walk away (if their self-respect is in place), or else they will start humiliating themselves just to make you stay longer. Which will cause you to respect them even less.
Another funny thing is that if you don’t have self-respect, you don’t know how to respect others either. It’s a two-way street that starts from self. Like so many other things.
So from now on my first and foremost test for any decision is – does it pass the respect smell-test? An easy way to run it according to the psychology blog on relationships I’ve been reading for some time now – is asking myself if I would want my daughter to do what I am about to do. If the answer is no, then I’ll pass.