Some more thoughts on how my crown operates. Whenever I dated a guy my self-centered side would stick out in all its phenomenal greatness. Paired with the urge to shift responsibility towards the guy.
Let’s take a simple example – dates. A guy tells me we could meet on a certain day, but he wasn’t sure about it yet as there were some other things that needed to be scheduled first to know for sure if he’ll be able to make it. Sounds quite reasonable for someone with a busy life, right?
Not to my crown. It goes off with two things – screaming how dare he not rearrange his whole schedule to meet with me – instead of calmly admitting it as a fact – yep, a girl he hardly knows is not at the top of his priorities list – why should she be? And he may have a busy life – like in lots of things to juggle around – and this is the reason I find him attractive in the first place – he’s not a couch potato with nothing to do.
The other thing my crown yells is that I could be planning so many other fun things for the night of the supposed date – and instead I have to keep it open until things get cleared up. This part is so totally illogical! I should either start planning all those fun things disregarding the possible date – should they involve other people; or plan things that I can easily get out of – should the possible date take place – and if I feel like going for the date rather than doing the exciting things I had planned before.
Either way, saying that I am not having fun because of a guy’s scheduling issues is shifting responsibility for my own entertainment over to the guy – all of a sudden it’s his fault that I am not having fun. How. Stupid. Is. That!
Now that I have been single for some time, I know how to entertain myself, how to not just feel like all I’m doing is killing time between the dates, but actually enjoy myself – for real! Amazing shit!