Exactly a year ago I went on vacation to Europe when I was in a similar stage of relationship with G. Although I managed to enjoy it, I clearly remember a feeling of longing that was always in the back of my mind pulling at me and not letting me enjoy the trip in the fullest.
The same feeling was back this time around – the first two or three days that is. I felt I was surrounded by happy couples – they were everywhere! (speaking of tunnel vision!). It was quite different from the camping trip in July too – there weren’t many people around, so I didn’t have the feeling. And then it was gone, resurfacing here and there, but overall I was able to actually be present in the place – both mind and body. I was so proud of myself! I wasn’t noticing couples anymore – rather hot guys and nicely dressed pretty gals.
I think I finally found a switch in my mind – the one that controls emotions. My gals got an impression that I am not that into JM at all – or so it sounded. But it was my control breaks engaged at their fullest – there is no use in discussing a guy with friends over and over again – it’s quite dangerous, actually – the more time I spend talking about him, the more important he becomes for me. I shouldn’t be doing his job in the relationship – the real person should be working on keeping my attention, not my imagination. While I work on keeping his. 🙂