It’s so easy to fall into illusions, really. The one I fall into mostly is: “He’s into me, but…”. Ah, so nice to use this one. He tells you those nice things. Repeatedly. So it makes it easier to build the illusion too!
But my wiser girlfriends are right – one should look at the actions, not words. And it friggin helps! A lot! Another thing that helps is the fear. Falling for illusions is similar to going for those cash credits – you get satisfaction today, or at least lull your worries, but at a steep price in the future.
It’s hard to keep in sync with reality, especially when it’s not what you’d like it to be. But this is the only way to go. You can’t fall for the make-believe BS that you feel so right, so tempting, so amazing! The price is too high – the reality keeps getting in the way and you dive deeper into the illusions credits to keep the fairy tale afloat.
My way these days is the hard way – yes, he doesn’t want it anywhere near as much as I do. Yes, I may lose in the end. Yes, it’s me who will have to work for it hard at this point. Yes, he doesn’t really know what he wants. But keeping all these things in mind, I know he’s worth a shot. And I know I enjoy his company. I also know that the dating scene is as far from fairy tale things as it can be. So I am taking a step at a time, don’t overthink it, handle disappointments whenever they arrive remembering the big picture (the things I listed above) and find myself calmer than usual considering the circumstances. Woot woot!