All those small things, signs if you will – like how I wrote a message to the Universe and you appeared at the same time… Or how my Match subscription auto renewed on me, letting you find me. How conveniently the car seats were not in their normal places both times we had fun in my van… How the parking lot was empty in S. when you gave me a lift and you parked in front of a huge bush that granted us some privacy…
I think we are a great match, I won’t use the word perfect, not yet. I also think that I am falling for you and this is the first time in my life where it is accompanied not only by excitement, joy and hopefulness, but it also feels right. I hope it doesn’t let me down. You’re the first thing that I think about in the morning and the last one when I fall asleep at night.
I am not obsessed, mind you, I keep my life outside of our relationship going – I get energy for other things from it.
The dormant demons that are inside of me started stirring a bit – you made my birthday the best one in forever, we had the best sex ever too – so I don’t blame these guys awaken by fear of losing you. At the same time, I lull them back to sleep – worst case scenario – where you walk away from me – I will still be grateful for this magic time we had together. I will respect your free will, your decision and your choice, and eventually will close this chapter of my life just like I did few others before.