I might as well write this story down now – as it’s at a stage where I am not scared to just waste my breath anymore, so to say.
Also I feel safe from dicksands at the moment. Thanks to my girlfriends, some exposure to other guys’ reaction to me, as well as the self-digging I’ve been doing over the last six months or so.
A short refresher – he saw me on Match, found me on Facebook and invited to connect, I accepted thinking he may be a friend of a friend or not really thinking.
Later on he messaged me explaining that he was fresh out of separation, not ready for a relationship at this time (this one raised a Red Flag the size of a house in my mind), but thought he’d try to get in touch with me anyway.
My first thought therefore was, great! Yet another Let’s fool around dude! Lucky me!
But I replied that sure, let’s chat and see where it goes from there.
Soon after that he asked me out, we met for lunch, the conversation was interesting and easygoing, but I can’t say I felt that much of a spark on physical level. It was more of: Yeah, he’s alright.
We went out again soon after, to a place with board games. I felt a tad disappointed by the choice of location, but this time around the spark stirred in me. It’s funny actually how his shyness and nervousness are catchy, I haven’t felt this way on a date in a while now.
So I was looking forward to the third date, hoping that it’d be more physical than just the short hug at parting that was the case with the first two.
He cancelled twice after that. Once it wasn’t yet set, so something with his work (one of them) or the kids came up and I was cool with that. The next time we’ve set a day and time, and he had to cancel again as his kid made an unexpected appearance at his place.
That was when I slammed the brakes on flirting with him in messages. Fool me once…
We went on messaging almost daily, at times he would say something about how sorry he was that he had to cancel on me and how he was crazy busy at the time. I only went Keep talking in my mind.
Then the semi-naked selfies episode took place.
We met again, and went for a proper dinner this time. That was the Friday before I left for vacation.
I actually experimented that time – like in GG’s case, I paid for the dinner. (He stepped out to take a call from his son). His reaction – quite opposite from GG’s – asked me why I would do this and called me sneaky. Check! And I also didn’t mind it at all unlike the GG case.
He said his kid was supposed to stay at the ex’s that night, but he was instead on his way to JM’s place, so he had to go. Which was a letdown, but quite in his character, so I let it slide.
He walked me to my car, hugging me at my waist, and we kissed. What a kisser! Mmm! Maybe the best kisser in my oh so huge experience (I guess I’m at 11 right now).
I said that he could come visit me at the camp if he wanted (I’ve prepared the line ahead of time, took some courage to actually voice it).
He said he wasn’t sure about four days, but he could try to come for a day.
Me being me went wide-eyed with an expression of shock on my face. I said I didn’t expect him to come for the whole duration of it, just a night maybe.
In my mind I was trying to say “I don’t want you to think I’m so needy and cocky that I’d expect a guy to drop everything and go on vacation with somebody they hardly know on such a short notice”.
By his confused and somewhat hurt expression I guess it came across as in “No way in hell will I have you around for this long!”
Ugh! I need to learn to think before I speak!
I messaged him on Saturday saying that it’d be amazing if he could make it. We chatted about other stuff never touching the topic again.
Sunday I was leaving. I haven’t heard from him at all, so I left in quite low spirits.
Come Monday I messaged him saying I finally got a network working and I was still alive although tent-less. He replied that I should probably invite some friends over and tell them to bring a tent. One could read this one in two ways – him confirming the invitation still stood or else him trying to say he wasn’t coming – so why not invite my friends over instead.
Guess which way I interpreted it?
Nevertheless I said, no way, it’d mean I had to share my food. He went, that’s true, don’t invite anyone then. I said that his invitation still stood. Got lots of happy emojies in response as well as that he may join me the following night, depending on when his flight would happen.
That night he said he didn’t fly, but was just hanging around at home cleaning his fridge. Which rubbed me the wrong way – he sucks at this communication thing even more than I do! Telling someone they’d chose to clean the fridge over coming to visit them doesn’t come over nicely. It fucking hurts!
So I wished him to enjoy his fridge and said I was planning to go swimming that night. Skinny dipping? – he asked. Maybe… care to join? – I said somewhat peevish (I have never been this naughty before!). That’s when he said he was planning to come for a visit the following night. I wished him happy fridge cleaning and went offline. Wednesday morning I saw few messages from him from the previous night – he swore, then said he wished he visited me that night and that he missed me – all those not in his character.
He ended up not showing up on Wednesday night, his flight lasted for over four hours instead of the two he was counting on, so he messaged me just before eleven that he still had some paperwork to do and it’d be quite late by then, but he’d let me know what he was doing once finished. Forty minutes later he said he wasn’t coming. We chatted for two more hours – and he really impressed me when he said he would come down to help me with the tent that night – when I complained that the kids were coming the following day and I was still tent less. But that he’d have to leave after he was done with the tent. I told him I wouldn’t let him do that and I’d figure something out – didn’t want him to drive for three hours to just set up a tent. He also admitted, that now he was, in fact, looking for a relationship despite of what he had said to me previously. But with the heavy load of three jobs he took on to spend as much time away from home as he could, it wasn’t fair of him to expect someone to sit around and wait for him to unload some of it. I said I was in no rush, he was quite excited about this answer.
Later that week he asked me out for Tuesday (yesterday). We’ve been messaging quite actively over the rest of my vacation. We went out for a dinner yesterday, and my, the guy is way shyer in person than he is in messages. His nervousness is cute and turns me on big time. I kissed him at the dinner and we’ve gone on a walk in a park afterwards. Mosquitoes were brutal, he suggested we’d get back to the car. I guess I must have misinterpreted the offer, but we ended up having some fun big time in the car. At my initiative. I asked him later last night if I wasn’t too bold, he said I wasn’t and that he enjoyed it all (and he never had sex in a car before, I feel like an experienced seducer, LMAO!)