So I’ve decided to go over my posts about S. To try and see if I can figure out what I did wrong.
My conclusion – I was totally mental. This blog has a very suitable name for me back then. All those major mistakes of being self-centered, obsessed with the guy (yes, you can be selfish in being obsessed with somebody), acting and coming across as desperate, insecure and therefore needy and clingy.
In all my posts from that period did I once wonder what it was that the guy needed or was looking for. I was all the dream girl who is about to make the guy happy. And getting stressed out and later on angry at him for not rushing in to claim his happiness. So arrogant and selfish, really.
Also was in a strong denial of seeing the obvious – the guy was interested in the beginning, his interest lost its steam very soon because of my crazy behaviour. I would explain his reluctance to keep it going by anything but the actual reason – he wasn’t that into me. No wonder too – asking the guy for exclusivity after two dates – SERIOUSLY?!! Whoa! I’m surprised he stuck around for as long as he did!
I’ll try to summarise the simple dating rules that I have crystallised for myself by now and that I use at this point in a separate post.