OMG! The feeling of my own boundaries helps me so much in so many ways, it’s amazing!
I’ll try to elaborate on how it helps with dating. I’ve gone on two first dates in the last two days. Both guys were surprisingly good (surprisingly considering my dating experience on Match so far that is).
Once you realise that you’re just one of many, and not a unique supergirl or whatever, another realisation sinks in – there’s no Ideal Match, the One or whatnot. Therefore, no illusions of “what if he’s the One” kick in to add unnecessary pressure to the dating mix or trigger generation of more illusions or hopes. Now it’s more like “Hmmm, this may have some potential, let’s see”.
Another positive outcome of feeling that you’re neither in the centre of the Universe, nor is anyone, is that you quit overthinking everything. If a guy disappears, the question of ” What have I done wrong” is one of the possible options, but not the main and foremost version at all.
There can be a number of possibilities:
a. He had a different agenda from what you’ve demonstrated in a date (like was seeking a one night stand or whatnot).
b. He found someone who he feels is a better fit for him (and yup, it’s not that I failed to demonstrate how awesome I am, he just felt I wasn’t his kind of awesome, nothing wrong with that)
c. A billion of different reasons I cannot know of as I have just met the guy.
In short, once you acquire the feeling of your own boundaries, you also feel other people’s boundaries and start respecting their free will and their right to choose as they will. So the oh so maddening statement of “It’s not you, it’s me”, gets a new meaning.