Funny enough, I just realised that from the time I started dating, in my late teens, until now (which is over fifteen years), I have only been single for something like six months. I leaped between boyfriends never staying on my own, same happened to my marriages.
I vaguely remember that the six months I spent on my own when I was twenty, felt quite good, although I was still living with my parents, still was a student and only started my first job.
Now the more I think about it, the more I agree with my girlfriend who told me to ditch G. (well, all of them told me that, really) and to stay on my own for some time, say, until summer, take a break from all the dating stuff. I think I did. I mean, I still go on Match, message with guys, but the fact there is not much going on in that area of my life doesn’t make me feel concerned or worried or sad.
All it does is free up energy and time for other things I never had time for before or didn’t spend much time on. I am learning to listen to my needs and wants, not adjusting to a guy’s needs and wants. It’s alright to have some, really.
My current situation may not be the soundest one financially, but on the other hand, so many people struggle with way more stressful circumstances and are still able to enjoy their lives, that I should quit worrying and embrace what I have, enjoying it, looking for budgetary solutions, cutting corners here and there to save a buck or two… Yeah, I may wish I could go to Italy every year for the full vacay, but instead will have to settle for camping, but as long as the weather cooperates, I’ll have beach, sand, bonfire, booze and lots of movies and books to enjoy myself. As well as exercising. It’s going to be awesome, just in a different way than Italy!
It’s not having what you want. It’s wanting what you‘ve got.