I am amused at the whole dating experience, truly. How guys start messaging you like crazy for few days, then disappear into thin air. Are there too many bipolars on these sites? I’m not even trying to comprehend.
If anything, this dating thing taught me one thing – to become immune to others’ weirdness. I don’t even try to understand. Why bother? And to get some stats on how many weirdoes are out there too.
It also teaches me to recognize “fishing rods”, when a guy says certain things to get your attention, incite your interest. Some seem to be acting upon something they studied. Those emanate falsehood of such magnitude, it’s funny and pitiful. Some are naturals at it – like that S2 guy was. So was G. actually. I guess the rods are where a guy is telling you that all his life he’s been looking so hard for a special someone, got burned badly in the process but still is hopeful and/or believes he lost hope. Or other version would be he’s been fooling around all his life, but now realises he’s ready to settle – the only thing yet to find is a special someone. Super cunning ones add hints at how the lady in front of him might be what he believes will make it happen.
First scenario makes you feel excited and you feel the urge to prove that you are special, you won’t hurt him etc – like, you are unique and different from the others. Second scenario sends a message of how luckily your paths crossed at the right time, how you can tame something wild, show them how great a commitment can be.
There are plenty scenarios out there, really. But what they all have in common is aiming a gal’s vanity and pride. Her urge to feel special and prove to the world, the guy and herself that she can win where others have lost.
Well ladies, you’re headed for disappointment there, most fishers who seek out vain ladies don’t really want what they claim they do. They’re players in the game of seduce – get a lady sweet on them – move on. They’re trophy hunters who enjoy the process more than the results. They want the excitement of dating, the feeling of a flight… They get it all and a boost to their self-esteem and move on to the next target. I am not calling it a victim, mind you. Cause in cases like that a lady falls victim to her own vanity and insecurity, not a scheming asshole. Remember, people can’t hurt you, unless you let them.
Ultimate cure for it is your humbleness and your logics as well as self-preservation. It’s OK to feel doubtful and even skeptical when someone tells you how awesome you are – they can’t know it yet, so it’s them trying to stroke your pride, boost your awe for them. I am not saying you aren’t amazing or brilliant or funny or witty or beautiful or whatnot. I am sure you are! But so are so many others out there.
I am also not saying they aren’t impressed with you either. Yet at the same time they may be picking the right spot on their trophy shelf for you in their mind. The only way to tell if they’re being genuine or have their hidden agenda is to be on your watch and take everything a guy tells you with a grain of salt. Also stick to watching their actions, not their words.
Oh, and don’t let them send you on guilt trips with the incredulous and hurt “What?!!! You don’t believe me?” – honestly, their hurt is their issue, yours is finding a Mr. Right For You without getting broken beyond repair in the process.
Here is another great quote on the subject that I am intended to print out and put somewhere I can always see it: