Woot woot! I’m knocking on every wooden surface around me, seems like whatever was wrong with my brain is fixed!
The hockey coach, the one I thought was gorgeous and out of my league, too smooth and why on earth would he be interested in a single mom of two finally asked me out after 1.5 months of messaging.
At first he suggested yesterday night (and he suggested it at five pm last night too!). I said sure, but that I couldn’t meet until eight the earliest (since I was in the middle of my gym visit). Then he said his cousin asked him for an urgent meeting, so if I couldn’t meet really late, or would rather get together on either afternoon of the weekend, we could do that.
So we agreed on today. He suggested three towns we could meet in, two of them between our towns and the third one next door from me. I said meeting next door wouldn’t be fair to him, and we agreed on the town halfway between us, that turned out to be his hometown too.
We met at a parking lot in downtown, walked to a coffee shop in the area together. We’ve chatted for over two hours, and it was quite easygoing and I guess natural, there wasn’t much flirting if any (darn!), but quite entertaining for sure. And I dunno where I got the idea from that the guy was too smooth. He’s so down to earth, it’s a refreshing change from all these dudes who seem to follow some BS dating textbook, complimenting me like I’m a queen or something, with a necessary elements of light “accidental” touching of my hand. It’s like, WTF, dude, it feels so fake and acted! Poor acting too!
On the contrary, we’ve had a nice friendly chat today, but at the same time he was asking questions demonstrating he was paying attention to what I’ve been telling him in texts and on our previous date. I showed it too.
I had a big scare where I lost my purse in the end, but turned out I left it at the table we sat at in the beginning (we later switched to a booth), and someone took it to the counter.
When we walked back to the parking lot, we hugged, he said he’d talk to me later. I wasn’t sure if that meant he’d brushed me off or not. But I wasn’t going crazy about it either, I took it for the face value, just another first date.
I messaged him later today, saying that I had a great time and that maybe we shouldn’t wait for six months before we got back together again. He said he had a great time as well, and agreed we shouldn’t wait that long.
I love my current state, where I’m still unsure the guy will reappear, but it doesn’t feel worrisome or scary or whatnot. If he doesn’t, so be it, yet another guy who for whatever reason wasn’t right for me, or I wasn’t right for him. Either way, I had fun today, but I won’t be that upset if he disappears. It’s life, people do as they please, refusal is part of the selection process of dating.
I think I managed to untie the funny and unhealthy knot that somehow connected my self-esteem with my success with guys. Some will like me, some won’t. Just like I like some and don’t like others. Doesn’t mean the latter are bad people or losers, there’s no spark, that’s all. Not just physically, emotionally and mentally too. Happens all the time. Not a big deal at all.
It may sound like I’m talking myself into this, prepping myself for rejection, but it’s not the case at all, I really feel calm and cool about it.