Dutch Buddy – why’s he the biggest ditcher in the Universe?

Well, in my Universe.

A girlfriend asked me if I thought that DB may not be getting together with me for the same reasons I cut off all connections with G. I don’t think so – otherwise DB would have done the same – cut off All connections, not just personal meetings.

The guy’s a church goer (as I mentioned before) – i.e. religious to some extent (remember, how he pretty much confessed his sins to me and we agreed that we’d play poker on booze? – well, that happens when you make me the priest I guess). Anyhow, I think he must have some kind of sin scale – and on that scale flirting and talking to a lady in texts and over phone, while he’s on his own, i.e. no need to lie to his wife is one thing, whereas the need to come up with a coverage for an in-person meeting is a way more grievous sin in his books. Thus his reluctance.

I am not too cocky to suggest he is scared of what he may do at a meeting with me – I am pretty sure there is no fear like this in his mind at all – after all, he was able to keep his cool for a year (or since whenever his crush kicked in).

Another episode that may support the sin theory – when he asked me out for a lunch (while we were still working together), the fast food kiosk we were supposed to go to, burnt down the night before. I bet you a religious person might have interpreted it as a sign from Above! A warning sign, that is.

Advertisements

Me again!

This time I was ditched by Dutch Buddy. Again. I learned my lessons from the Tuesday last week, when I went and had my nails done all for nothing – when S2 aka “sleep with me on the second date” decided he wasn’t interested in just a dinner on me. Also remembering how often Dutch Buddy has ditched me in the past, I decided I’ll do my nails myself last night if by that time he’d confirm our meeting tonight and went to the gym instead. Surely enough, I received a message saying he couldn’t make it tonight and he had to reschedule for the next week. Funny thing here, although I was quite hopeful about this time, I didn’t even get upset!

My initial reaction was messaging him something poisonous and teasing in response – like how we haven’t seen each other for seven months only and meeting tonight would clearly be too early. But then I thought about how one should stay in their own borders, or try to do so. And a message like that would translate as “you’re the frigging ditcher, how dare you!” And besides, he already knows it already. So after I asked if next Wednesday would work for him and him confirming, I just said that I really hoped to see him sometime soon. People like to feel good about themselves, not being put down.

Another statement that I felt was so true – do squats if you have problems – problems will go away and you’ll be left with a great butt! 😀

Oh, and the hockey coach keeps messaging me – seems like I got myself a new pen pal! LOL

Crazy is in the air!

I think I mentioned it before, but men are weird. One keeps texting me but won’t ask out for a date (the hockey coach). He initiates some of the exchanges, so it’s not that he only is being nice by responding to mine.

The other one seems to have expected me to sleep with him on a second date – that or else I am his Plan B (S2).

The third one asks me out, sets the date – and nothing happens. He neither texts nor calls to specify time and place (the colleague).

The fourth one keeps calling me babe and flirting in messages and calls – and never gets together with me face to face (well, he’s married, that’s a different story I guess) (the Dutch Buddy).

The fifth one tells me he’s now decided, he’s a gay going forward, not a bisexual anymore, but says he’s still intended to sleep with me when we meet next time.

The sixth one proclaims his love for me after two dates (the SweetTalker). And he said happy Easter to me too, when I completely ignored his text earlier this week. How can I make it crystal clear to the dude that I am NOT interested.

Is it just me, or does it all sound crazy? Also, can I mix and match the above and get a decent guy by combining parts of these madmen?

PS. My nicotine patch fell off yesterday afternoon, so I had to put a replacement on. I guess because it was this fresh when I went to bed, I had this totally crazy and vivid dream (instruction for patches warns about vivid part, my subconscious added crazy to the mix). I was actually giving G. a haircut! Or rather finishing it up, and he requested a straight razor to be used! And I did a great job. And then a war broke out. And I was incredulous – even in a dream I couldn’t believe that anyone would attack Canada, of all places! Then I kept running between buildings trying to avoid the ones that were about to be bombed. The last part may have been reaction to the PS3 game I am currently playing – no explosions, but lots of shooting.

Dating update

S2 guy is weird

So I texted him on Monday night wishing him good night. He responded with Ahhh shucks. I should make dinner for you tomorrow or something lol. Anyway let’s chat tomorrow then…G’night.

The following morning I messaged him saying that as much as I was flattered by the idea he’d cook for me, I was afraid I was somewhat old-fashioned and didn’t go to the guy’s place on a second date. But I’d love to go out with him for a dinner, my treat this time.

His response – Okee totally agree ugh was a crazy thought… But yes sure.

I went, Not crazy, but premature. Lol. What do you feel like for dinner?

When he didn’t reply by 4 pm, I messaged him again saying I was about to leave work and was looking to finalise my plans for that night. So I continued, were we going out or would he like to reschedule?

Hey now that you mention it rescheduling might be best with hockey last night and boxing this morn and being off for 2 weeks I’m just pooped lol. I wouldn’t be much fun lol”.

I said it was fair enough and wished that his moods would improve soon, wished him a good evening.

I haven’t heard from the guy since. Um, did I fail the “Are you ready to sleep with me on the second date?” test? What’s also perplexing is that he’s been off Match for the last week too (deactivated his profile). So my guess is that I was a backup and he’s currently working on a plan A. Whatever.

The hockey coach still messages me here and there, the Sweet Talker messaged me on Tuesday too (asking me if I was ok and then adding that I was free not to answer, he knew how busy I was – which sort of spoiled the good gesture, ruined it even).

My colleague asked me out for beers for this Saturday, will see if he quits yet again.

And my meeting with the Dutch Buddy is next Wednesday. I dare him to cancel on me!

More dating related self-digging

I guess I just pinpointed the reason for my sickening addiction kicking in shortly after I start seeing a guy. It’s triggered by two things – my low self-esteem and the stupid statement of “all a guy needs from a gal is sex”. Add these two together and you get yourself a perfect recipe for disaster – hysteria that in its turn unleashes paranoia. Right after one starts sleeping with a guy. I would feel very vulnerable right after the first sex, not because of my traumatic experience of getting dumped by my X in the situation, but because I felt like I’ve given the guy what he was aiming at, and now that he got it, he’ll take off. I suspected I was not good for anything beyond it and every failure caused by my paranoia kind of supported my suspicion. Vicious cycle where a self-fulfilling prophecy fed my paranoia which in turn lead to a guy to bolt soon after I started behaving weird.

Continue reading “More dating related self-digging”

S2 made a bold move

I messaged him a good night yesterday to which he replied an hour later that it was too bad he didn’t see my text as we should do something tonight. Like he’d cook for me or something. To which I replied that as much as I am flattered by the idea he’d cook for me, I was afraid I was somewhat old-fashioned and didn’t go to the guy’s place on a second date. But that I’d love to go out with him for a dinner and it’d be my treat this time.

I am not sure that um sex was implied in this one, but when in doubt, act cautious! Or else your refusal may come across disappointing and as an attempt at boosting your own price. I also made it clear that I am not looking for another dinner on him, i.e. again, no “You need to pay more to get the prize” message. Rather “I like your company, let’s get together again and have fun”. If he gets offended by this, his problem. I am within my borders here.

And he replied with: “Ok totally agree ugh was a crazy thought… But yes sure”. I corrected him it wasn’t crazy but rather premature.

Playing the dating game with this guy feels awesome!

LMFAO! More observations

The more S2 messages me and from what I remember from our first date, the more I suspect that SweetTalker (the one who said he loved me after two dates) and this guy attended the same dating/pickup courses or read the same book or something. Except for the SweetTalker didn’t make any pauses – might have missed that lesson or ignored it. Too much in common! The same song of “you’re so awesome” and “we have so much in common” being repeated all the time can’t be just a coincidence, can it? I wonder what the end goal of it is? Getting laid? Well, with this guy I’m totally in.

And what also makes me wonder is why on Earth would a guy like This need some courses/instructions?!! Believe me (or my girlfriends and my bi-sexual buddy – should probably count him as one of the girlfriends, lol. Except that I don’t sext with my other girlfriends) – the guy Is gorgeous, it’s not something I imagine. So gorgeous that one of my girlfriends asked me if I’ve seen him yet – suggesting he may have used some actor’s picture. Shouldn’t he be able to get any girl he wants by just showing up and well, that’s all it takes for ladies that only want to have some fun, doesn’t it? As long as the guy is stunning I mean. SweetTalker totally needed some tools to attract a lady for sure. Interesting!

PS I’d also love to read that book or attend the training!

S2 is back!

I shouldn’t have written the guy off this quickly (nor have the two extra glasses of bourbon last night while I’m on “don’t do it” list).

He replied to my text from last morning – in a manner as if there was no huge disappointment and emergency bourbon drinking interruption whatsoever.

And man, is this guy a player! The fact he pretends nothing happened (a usual behavior would be apologise for not answering the same day and come up with some lame excuse, right?) proves it big time! So does my reaction to this. He is trying to grow his importance in my mind (quite successful, I must admit). Doing unpredictable and illogical things along with making breaks in contact – brilliant! I’ll so use it going forward.

The mechanics of it is: he makes pauses to not oversaturate my part of field with his presence and to make me think of him!

If nothing else, I’ll learn some tips and tricks from the guy! And certainly have some fun in the process!

Here are three lessons of this episode:

  1. Don’t jump to conclusions – you may be making yours based on your logic and experiences, the other person may think differently or have their own motives other than what you think.
  2. Don’t apologize as much as you are in habit of doing – you surrender your power when you say you regret doing something.
  3. Make pauses and don’t message much – don’t overfeed him with your presence. He needs to want more of your attention, and not hope that you’ll finally shut up and give him a break! Feel like chatting? First of all, suck in up, Cinderella, it’s not about You, like so many other things in life. Secondly, focus! – remember the goal – to lure the guy in, not to shoo him away!

PS Even if he is not a player, and just doesn’t give a crap about me enough to bother to apologise or else doesn’t see anything wrong in disappearing for a day, the analysis above helps me learn tricks that work in dating! In any case, it’s always safer to overestimate your enemy, lol.

New approach to dating

I started reading this Screw the Rules dating book to try and get some expertise on the subject. It was somewhat heavy on “make this list, now make that list” in the beginning for my liking, but I pedaled through it thinking “no pain, no gain”. When I got to the interesting part, advice on flirting and overall tips on dating, I felt like Bradley Cooper’s character in Silver Linings Playbook in the episode where he yells “What the fuck!” and throws Hemmingway’s book out of the window breaking the glass in the process (Disclaimer: I strongly recommend watching the movie and I don’t share the character’s opinion on Hemmingway).

To say the list of things this lady author made that one needs to follow to be successful in dating is overwhelming, is to understate it big time! They must have paid her for the page count. Or she never heard of “keep it simple, keep it real” rule. Or she felt like bragging and getting a self-esteem boost by making the readers feel stupid. Whatever the reasons, I got lost few pages into the chapter and decided to not bother anymore. Yes, even if I just ruined my chances to meet, attract and get to keep the Mr. Right. I’ll take that risk over the risk of my brain boiling and exploding on the spot, thank you very much!

Continue reading “New approach to dating”

Ups And Downs… And Downs again

First the network adapter died on my new laptop. Oh well, I thought, I can take it back to the store. Then when I was making lunch for kids using the blender, I thought to myself, why, mom said it’d be dead soon months ago, but it’s still running! Of course I broke its bowl few hours later! 😡

To add insult to injury it seems that the gorgeous S2 is gone for good too! I went on Match account to No thanks some old farts and noticed his profile has either been hidden or deactivated. And he hasn’t replied to my last text I sent this morning. Which isn’t unusual in itself,  I’d only get a text or two a day from him, and at midnight or around that crazy time, but add the two together and I guess his statement from Saturday morning of how much he was looking forward to seeing me is no longer applicable. Which is a bummer, really, the guy was awesome. Oh well, the show must go on, as G.’s favourite band once sang.

I sometimes think that I should follow Einstein’s advice of “If you want a happy life, tie it to a goal, not people or things”. Hey Universe, kindly forward a list of goals to me ASAP. Forever yours, CrazyStacie.