I know what drives me crazy about G. – his frigging irresponsibility! He tells me last night he’d surely call me tonight before he goes out with friends, and he doesn’t even message me in the afternoon instead! And I guess that’s the first one where he didn’t at all too.
I guess what upsets me about it all is that this behavior only manifests what I knew deep down for all this time, or most of it at least – he doesn’t care that much for me. I mean, when you are into someone, you want to feel their presence in your life. Even if it’s through a surrogate like a text message. It’s like reaching out and feeling for them to make sure they are still where you want them to be, near you.
Hence I declare my capitulation. A complete and full one. I cannot make someone love me. I cannot go on hurting over an unrequited love either. That’s it, I am putting my foot down,pulling the plug and quitting it next Saturday. Enough is enough. I may not feel like I own it to myself, but I own it to my family and my friends. Miserable me is not something they should have to deal with. Miserable through my own stubbornness and stupidity (as in doing the same thing and expecting different results) – even less so. So I say basta! Irish luck is running out.