The guy upset me big time last Friday. I asked him how he was in the afternoon, drinking with G. was his response. I replied with an Ouch, Enjoy. Had few beers after that and messaged him saying thank you for spoiling my Friday night. He asked why. I said mentioning G. didn’t exactly lift my spirits. Then he called me, apologized, promised not to mention G. to me again and we chatted for awhile, he said the right guy’s out there, I just need to wait for him and enjoy my life while I am waiting. And that’s pretty much my game plan for now. We also talked about getting together again, even set a date and place, the Friday a week from now, but I am not getting hopeful on this one. The guy is the king of ditching.
So the Sweet Talker is back. First he asked for a second chance, when I ignored it he asked if we could be texting buddies. I said we could try the latter.
The other guy I was supposed to be going out this weekend is gone for good. We first agreed to meet on Friday, then he claimed his kids had a concert at school and asked to reschedule for Saturday. I accepted. I texted him Friday night how the concert was going, he replied with a what concert. LMAO. Just to test him I responded, I thought his kids had a concert that night. Sure, he said, he was in it that very moment. Is there STUPID sign somewhere on my profile?
Then there’s this other guy I’ve been messaging back and forth with for the last week. He said he was moving this weekend, but then when I went on Match, there he was online.
A third guy claimed to be running to a birthday party and was online later that night too.
The Sweet Talker is back, asking me to give him another chance. Awww. How sweet. Still no.
The colleague guy I found jerky and somewhat shallow is back as well. And I don’t find him that annoying anymore actually. Not saying he’s amazing or anything, just that he’s OK. And he’s going through some rough times with his family, health related. That’s why he’s been so patchy about messaging with me. So I’ll keep him for now.
Another thing I found wondrous – it’s been just over two weeks since G. broke up with me. But I hardly hurt over it anymore. And I didn’t nearly as much as I expected I would. I mean, seeing or hearing his name or something that brings back memory of him will still make my heart skip a beat now and then, but nothing more.
Part of it is because of how infrequent our dates were – something positive out of it at least. But part of it is because I started to get disappointed in him by the time of the breakup. It wasn’t at a level where I was ready to admit it, not even to myself, but I was noticing signs of him not being what I imagined him to be – maybe those were evidence of my madness losing its intensity, doesn’t matter, all I know is that I didn’t think as highly and admiring as I used to at the height of of my obsession.
I decided to try and take the reins in my pretty hands. I’ve never searched on Match before. Just replied or ignored to messages that I received. Now I decided to be proactive and started winking at people. I think it’s a good tool for a gal. I don’t have to message anything, but I can draw someone’s attention to me. Perfect! So far one out of three winks messaged me back. Will see how it goes from there.
Guys are weird. I won’t be coming up with nicknames for the new batch I have in processing yet. But still want to record some funny things about it.
So the guy number one – we’ve called twice over the weekend, spent over an hour on the phone the second time around. The conversation was quite nice (except for the fact that he’s been doing most of the talking, which is not typical in my case). But some moments were kind of odd – for instance, he asked me how tall I was. I am not sure what my height is in imperial system, just metric. But I said what it approximately was in imperial, and yet he went to my profile to check. That’s odd, right? Also told me how he was getting hundreds of messages on Match. Made a compliment – that I was beautiful – and immediately asked if I blushed. Um, not really, man, I heard this one and more before. LOL!
Same guy suggested we get together someday. I said sure. I suggested a town that is midway between our locations. He accepted. Today he suggested a town that is way closer to his place though. Again, really? I said I’d still prefer the town halfway from my town. Screw that, I am not being convenient!
Another guy from Match – his profile said he was a professor at a university. Guess what he says in one of his first messages? Exactly that. Dude, do you think I cannot read or something? Or do you want to throw your importance into other people’s faces? Either way, no go!
I’m back! In all my glory, lol.
I’ve been thinking some more (what else is there to do when stuck in a house with two sick kids for a weekend?) – And here’s what I came up with. Going forward I am going to be very cautious about my feelings and emotions. I’d rather lose a guy who doubts my sincerity than end up in another rabbit hole that my illusions and fantasies tend to send me into every time I start seeing someone.
I will also trust my intuition way more – if something seems fishy, it most likely is that way. I’ll be more outspoken – asking inconvenient questions, speaking up on my concerns. If somebody is not OK with that, too bad, so sad – plenty of fish out there! I am done being convenient. That’s my new resolution I guess. I ain’t no bitch, so growing an internal one may not be a good solution for my problems, but becoming more outspoken and well frank, that’s something that may help me big time!
My gratitude goes to the awesome Alanis Morissette for the title of this post.
Actually, this is awesome:
You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn
I learned from the whole G. situation a number of things. But the most important is – I can do whatever I want! Thanks to my parents, my dear friends, my personality, my inner strength, I can take on anything, get up and move on. And I must strive for balance. I am unbalanced by my passion, I need to apply my strength to balance it out.
Another good lesson, I don’t have to pretend to be someone I am not. I can do whatever and if someone has issues with that, it’s their problem, not mine. I need to learn how to be self-sufficient. That will provide for an armor no one can break. My weakness was to voluntarily, willingly surrender controls to my happiness to somebody. No more!