Last night

G. didn’t contact me until after nine in the evening. By that time I was sedated on drugs and alcohol and I forbid myself to reply. Forced myself again not to message him this morning. Following the “always let him come to you” rule.

He did message, admitted he ended up not going to his mom’s yesterday, first there was the snow storm and then he got lazy to catch the evening train. The fact he told me hit me two ways, I’m glad he told me the truth, but I’m also sad that he pretty much asked me to leave saying it was time for him to get ready for the trip and ended up not going. He’s going today, at least is planning to.

The good thing in this whole situation is that my pink glasses are now broken. I know exactly where we stand. So does he. For now my plan is to wait and see if things start developing – if we go to the concert in February, if he suggests going on vacation together. If we actually start spending weekends together, whenever he gets Saturday off. If none of it happens, it’ll mean one thing, that I’m just a nice company and sex partner for him, no more. That’s when I’ll leave.

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