A mantra

I am a strong, smart, kind, attractive young lady. I will be just fine if this relationship ends. Just another bump in my road, no more. Can’t drag it on the way it is right now any longer. Whatever makes me feel unhappy needs to either quit doing so or it’s gone from my life for good. I deserve better!

I will not care for what reasons he has for behaving the way he is towards me. I am not responsible for nor should I suffer from other person’s issues. If he cannot or will not handle these, I need to go. At times I wish I were a calculative bitch. I either wouldn’t get into this relationship at all, or wouldn’t be subjected to the torments I went through and still am going through right now.

Neither my family nor my friends deserve what they’re getting either – it is hard to witness your close one’s pain and hurt, I owe this one not just to myself, but also to them.

Even if his decision is to end it after he reads the letter, I will respect it, but I won’t accept the existing terms if that is all he’s got to offer. They are unbearable to me, thus a breakup will be a better solution than continuing the agony. Cut it off and start anew, burn down to get reborn again. For someone who’s ready to have a relationship, who can handle seeing a gal he likes more than once a week, for someone who at no times acts as if he would like her to leave and never return.

I may not be ideal, far from that, no one is. I do have lots of issues, we have bunch of things in common, I love him by now and I feel comfortable and cared for in his presence too. However, the whole way our relationship is structured at the present time is such that all those things don’t make me feel happy anymore. Or they do, but only when we get together, which is not often enough. Therefore, once again, I deserve better!


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