Call me silly, but I forgave him for now. He was on his bestest behavior ever tonight, telling me that he missed me, he liked my company and wanted to spend time with me. Complimenting me a lot too. And apologizing for the last few weeks too. Few times. He was sick, so there wasn’t much going on between us on the physical level, but he kept holding and kissing my hand.
Turns out he was this um foggy about plans for Xmas cuz he wanted to make me a present of taking me to this concert in the city. I guess it’s our bad lucks combined that the band isn’t performing at Xmas for the first time in years! So we’ll get together this Wednesday and Saturday instead.
I know, it may all sound naïve, but my intuition is telling me something changed. I cannot exactly explain but I think we had a crisis of a sort and now it’s over. I feel happy now.
It was funny, when I went on a rant of how this year has been bad and hard for me, he said it couldn’t had all been bad, I met him this year! Again, not in an arrogant manner, rather jokingly and trying to improve my mood.
And yes, my dear sceptical friends, I do realize it may just be his attempt at making amends to the mess he caused recently by his own behavior. And yes, maybe nothing will change going forward. But that’s why I added the “for now” part when I said I forgave him.
What I also forget to say in these multiple rants is that he is always interested in what’s going on with me, asking questions about work, family and listening to my anecdotes that ain’t that thrilling, really. We’ve spent three hours together, having dinner and then wine just chatting and listening to music. And I felt good. I think part of the reason for my freakout over how much we don’t see each other is because I haven’t enjoyed a guy’s company and felt so relaxed in one in my life. So yes, his apologies were accepted. We’ll see how it goes from here.
PS He is SO jelous of the Dutch Buddy! He will mention him from time to time in his stories for sure. But when I told him that DB promised to finally get together with me soon, and went on about how I was tired he kept ditching me, G. switched subject pretty quickly without commenting much on this which is NOT his typical reaction. Good!