Yesterday night was definitely pivotal for us. It was weird throughout, but in a good way.
I’m not sure if this is what triggered it, but at some point G. said he sometimes thought of taking his buddy on his word and getting a job with the company where that buddy works. In the city that’s eighty miles away from our area.
Being quite drunk at that point (should shed this drinking habit now, really!), I strained, lit up a cigarette and went quiet. He started asking what the matter was. I wouldn’t say at first. But then I went, what about me? I mean, us – if he moved there. Called me paranoid again, said he didn’t really mean moving anywhere any time soon.
And after some silence he went, where do you see this relationship going? At first, I thought I didn’t hear it right. He even had to repeat the question! 😀 I did a happy dance inside, played cool on the outside though. I said, what do you mean?
He goes, he’d done some thinking (always a good start if you ask me!) and he likes what we have now, he likes every aspect of it – conversations, fun stuff, sex… Said how much he appreciated me coming over every weekend, especially when the kids are at home. He also acknowledged he was grateful for my understanding of his work schedule situation.
He moved on to the serious stuff. He won’t marry again, won’t have any more kids. I said that was fine by me as long as he was OK with me having two three years old. He said he was, would like to meet them in six months or so, he was actually good with kids, he added. Also said he ain’t ready to move in with anybody in the near future. Neither am I, as I know for sure by now. But that is in the books for him. Which is exactly what bugged me before – whether there were any development prospects on his mind at all.
I also sorta invited myself to go with him to Wisconsin next year – he may not go this week (weather conditions are bad for flying), so may have to defer until next summer. That’s when I went, I could go with you, that is, if you’d like to! He said, sure, he’d be glad, warned me it would be bunch of crazy people and some drinking. I like both I said!
He again apologized for the big lie with his mom’s trip – and for calling me crazy when I reacted the way I did – that was so great of him to do it!
Also said he’d go out with the Dutch Buddy and me on Tuesday! Now the only thing left is to actually force the big guy into not dumping the idea!
And he said we’d do something on Christmas – even mentioned a possibility of going somewhere together – with an overnight stay too!
Another change – he doesn’t lock his phone anymore, leaves it lying around when he leaves, showed me some messages from his buddies even!
Oh, and the toothbrush stayed put! Aaaand it’s ‘my nightstand’ now. He even pointed it out when I ignored it (drunk people aren’t very attentive) – like in, ‘Did you notice, I said it’s your nightstand now!’ and said I had to suck up the side of the bed I am on – he won’t switch (which in fact works perfectly well for me, cuz ‘my side’ has always been this side) Woot-woot!
It was so surreal, I still cannot completely believe it happened. It’s like I met a new G.! A confident and mature guy who knows how to put his feelings into words. A WOW effect for sure! I keep pinching myself in my head, to make sure it isn’t a dream and it wasn’t a dream.
The bottom line of this whole conversation is – I guess he’s done some internal conversations and decided for himself that we actually can make it work. Long term. Hence the talk. He also said he meant to have this conversation for two dates now. So the change I noticed in him about two dates back wasn’t something I imagined! Good intuition!
I also told him that I wasn’t always been fair towards him, transferring my issues from elsewhere – insecurity about job, other stuff – onto our relationship, that I now and then would forget about his schedule struggles and give him grief over that which was unfair. He said he never noticed any of it. What a nice man!