I called the Dutch Buddy and we’ve talked for some time. I asked him if he were my friend and could promise to not mention this conversion to anybody. He did. So I asked him what he knew about G. And he basically repeated everything that G. has told me word for word – that he currently was single (yeah, right!), that he’s been living with this lady from certain department for some time – and that he didn’t learned about it until way later – that’s how secretive G. is about his personal life. Before that he’s been single for quite awhile and he doesn’t remember anything of his personal life before that (or won’t tell I guess out of loyalty) He also said that there were no huge dramas or scandals to his knowledge over the twenty years he’s known the guy.
He said it was all very intriguing, me asking about G., but never even suspected the reason for my interest. Since he immediately questioned me about “my guy” – I told him last night the dude ditched me for yesterday and that my girlfriends were telling me to dump him claiming he were too old for me. The Dutch Buddy asked me how old old was – 42, lied I (saying the real age may have made him suspicious as he knows G.’s age) – and then added, that the gals were mean and I didn’t think it was old at all (the poor lad is 40 and has age issues big time!).
He also asked if the guy has ever been married before, I said he was, way back when. Then was single on and off for some time. The guys reply was priceless – the fact I was ditched today may easily be explained by hangover! Also said that the guy must just be set in his ways – saying, I quote “Take the same G., for instance, he’s pretty much set in his way for sure!” – which a. made me giggle inside, and b. calmed me down.
I had to tell him the whole story of this other manager lady having a bad crush on him – I refused to tell it before, saying I’d only do so in a personal meeting, however, since he’s driving for four hours, I wanted to make sure he doesn’t go back to considering the reasons for my vivid interest in G. So I made him a trail of bread crumbs to follow – hopefully he does. He may even think that me noticing this was evidence of my romantic interest in him. Such a peacock! But I love him! (In a friendly way I mean!).
The plan stands – I am not reaching out first to G, – let him come to me again! He wants time and space – he is welcome to them. In the meantime I’ll be on Match, I’ll go back to school and I’ll concentrate on my career and family. If he asks me out again (I’d say 90% I am sure he will) – I will tell him, look, if I’m right and you’re scared I am trying to make you commit on the spot, thus the BS, quit it, I am cool where we are now, except for lack of attention. And will make the non-exclusivity statement too!