It was again somewhat mixed. The man is a great cook, that’s for sure!
Good stuff – sex was back and great again, he watched one of my favorite movies with me, didn’t fall asleep for the whole length of it (it’s the first one!), and said it was a great movie few times too – and he hates romcoms – and Silver Linings Playbook is sorta romcom. The way he woke me up in the morning – it was almost half past nine – a light kiss, that was very cute. He isn’t overly protective about his phone anymore – doesn’t turn it away from me when he messages with his teammates, even showed me a picture of a newborn one of his friends’ kid had recently – and he also called the lady with me around and talked to her for some time.
Bad stuff – small lies again – on Friday he said the game was at eight, last night that he’d leave at nine, I left five to ten today and he was starting to pack up his gear. My card is gone from the fridge replaced by more cheques from his X. He got all worked up at me last night. We both were quite hammered by then, I must say. So since no invitation for a date followed during the course of the evening (a routine by now), I asked if we were getting together next Saturday. He went, well, no Hon, it’s Halloween and I always get together with my buddies for it! But I will squeeze you in on Sunday.
The tone of – maybe distorted by booze, I dunno – sounded like, OMFG, how can you not know by now that I won’t date on Halloween! And then the “squeezing in” phrase added insult to injury. Oh, I am something that needs to be squeezed into his oh-so-busy schedule? Niiiiice! So I said, thank you for telling me – but in a quite grumpy way. I also added that i hoped it wasn’t another relationship of convinience for him. And he started, really-ing – and rephrased that he’d find time for me on Sunday, adding that there was no other woman or anything, he just needed time and his own space. And that it wasn’t for convenience either
That last thing made me wonder if it’s him having anxiety issues over getting too involved or if it’s my insecurity making me appear more clingy and needy than I realised. Maybe both.
This morning went fine, we had some cuddling time on the couch again, a coffee and I left. But before that I said, I hadn’t dated for a decade, my skills got somewhat rusty, but now it was all good again. Sorta made my statement or declaration 😀
Maybe it’s me feeling more relaxed now that there is no paranoid part in me when I’m with him, but he seems to be more at ease around me now – not in part of that exchange last night – but during the rest of the time we spent together. So I guess I’ll just give it more time – he asked for it after all.