Some analysis of my fears

Nerds ❤ their lists – structuring the unstructured provides for a feeling of fake security and control! 😀

A. Generic ones (always there, no matter who I am dating)

  • It’s a bad, shitty year for me – nothing good comes out of it. – The most crazy one
  • I’m unattractive, S. has confirmed that one – it’s illogical, if I do proper make up, put on a bikini and stand in front of a mirror like my girlfriend’s man said I should – I must see how stupid this fear is. Still.
  • No one really wants to have a full-scale relationship with a mom of two young kids – too much trouble. – This one is probably the most reasonable of them all.

B. G. specific – these I cannot resolve, they’re part of the package deal called “relationship” – they’re the risks that come with it.

  • He doesn’t want to have a serious relationship at all
  • He doesn’t want to change his lifestyle
  • He mainly sees me as a friend, not much lust left in him

Add to this mix that I watched a romcom last night where the guys were all proactively professing their feelings to the girls, discussing relationships and all and the fact that I called him “my amazing man” this morning – in an effort to intentionally demonstrate more affection – thus trying to match his episodes of “his girl” etc. – and you’ll get the idea as to why I am reading those articles going forward until I learn them by heart – at which point I’ll be reciting them to myself in my head during my waking hours!

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