What a messed-up brain!

One of my gals already heard of it from me – and it is totally insane and very theoretical – BUT – if G. is cheating because he feels insecure, i.e. for the only reason he feels a need for a backup, a safety net, – I don’t mind that much. 😯 Shocker, I know! It came as a shock to me, believe me.

Why’s that? First of all, it’s a totally theoretical thought. I’ll get back to this one later on.

Secondly, it makes us more alike than I thought we were! Not in cheating, but in insecurity. If he needs safety nets as badly as I do, I feel for him! I can sympathize. Yes, even if it takes this ugly shape. Mine is flirting only, but it doesn’t mean I am better, all it means I may have never been provided a real cheating opportunity.

Thirdly, I’ve developed fancy for the man! Like I’ve said before, smart, caring, funny, easygoing and attractive people aren’t that easy to come by! If for now he needs a crutch to get the thing going, so be it!

Now back to the pure theoretical concept. The whole realization fascinates me with how my mind is twisted – it tries to make a safety net with the stuff it needs the safety nets for! This is some crazy shit if I ever saw one! And the whole concept stands as long as I am not sure this is true. Cause if I learn it is, no matter how, I’ll confront G. And the moment I do so, I won’t trust any of his explanations! I’ll feel betrayed and BS-ed to! Sounds like a Schrödinger’s cat situation to me!

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