On dating – what I’ve discovered in the process

Since I have another hour to kill, here are my thoughts on what I’ve learnt about dating so far. Or even relationships in general.

When I only started the process, I did some rudimentary research and listened to my girlfriends who were recently through dating scene or still are on the scene for their inputs. As the manuals said, I made a list of things that I would like to see in a partner – it had to be a comprehensive list – starting from appearance, age, race, going into educational levels, religious and political beliefs and hobbies and so on and so forth.

Then I went out there and invented a fake me. So the guy who would probably be happy with that non-existing person arrived shortly. He matched most of criteria on my list, too! So yay! Lucky girl! Not really. But this experience taught me few valuable lessons – including discovering something in myself – I had been wearing a passive-aggressive bitch armor for so long by that time, that I honestly had no idea that there was a passionate and caring person under it. When the armor and the mask both started sliding off, I became unstable, insecure and vulnerable, which didn’t help the case either, but it helped in the long term.

So I was back to Square One. This time I did a deeper research, recreated my profile, and learnt how to cut the wrong guys off with no mercy. This time the results were more promising, at least the ones that I had time to gain. But then the real life G. came along and all those lists, all those researches went into garbage. And there I was, discovering that no criteria on that silly list matter as long as the person is kind, caring, honest and real. As long as they treat you as someone special to them. As long as they show their devotion. Simple? I guess. But it seems that I used to go with the lists, clichés and expected things all my life.

I am not saying this is it, G. is Mister Right and we’re going to live happily ever after. We are two people; people are notorious for screwing good promising things up. We both have a proven record for that, too. All I am saying, I guess now I am closer to the answer of what could make me really happy than I’ve ever been before. And none of it was ever on my list.


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