No butterflies, Carl!

The guy is turning 42 and the reason he broke up with me was that he didn’t feel attracted to me at all levels he expects to. No magic or whatever. He read my letter (I’ve unlocked it – see the post before) – and went – yup, he got all my messages right – how I cared for him and so on. He also felt I wanted to advance it further and stressed about it some. But that’s not the problem – no FUCKING butterflies. It’s my word, not his btw. He said I was smart, sexy, funny and so on and he should have felt the magic. But something went missing. Right, after eight dates you can totally say it’s never coming. Although you admit that sex was great, we had lots of things in common and yes, clicked on certain levels.

I may be bitter now, but you know what mister, get off your unicorn and that wasn’t a rainbow you were riding it on either. He said he realised he may never find what he was looking for either. Or that he may just not have been ready for dating after separation. He dated before me, but I was his longest romance. Yup, finally got him to use the R word. Whatever it takes, right?

Forty minutes into our meeting he said he really needed to go to let his dog out and work. I may be ungrateful, sure, he did it in person, but whatever. I am not bitching, I’m just saying that it’s his loss, like three guys have said by now to me. Girlfriends too, but the guys know better, right?

It hurt so badly too! I kept it together – just cried a bit to his “I’m sorries”, but back in my car I yelled, I trashed and I cried. I had no idea it would hurt this much – he WAS my safe haven, he was the bright spot in my everyday crap, and it’s not his fault I assigned all those things to him, it’s all me. Doesn’t make me feel any better though.


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