G. stopped answering my texts, my first reaction was to strain, but next moment I start thinking, it’s Monday, an early start for him, six pm here, the guy must be napping and not doing whatever my imagination would come up with soon enough. 🙂
I’ve removed S. from my FB contacts, I’ve also deleted the dates guys from my texting history. I only left S.’s history in for now, just in case I feel like reinforcing the fact it was not right.
I didn’t realize I left my blog at that gloomy note!
G. and I went out on Friday, for an hour only, but still, we had a nice friendly chat, he also said if he hadn’t been elbow deep in a piece of equipment when I texted him, he would be jumping on the phone to say yes to my drinks invite. I also asked him if this wasn’t a rebound for him, absolutely not – was his answer. He texted me later that night, saying again it wasn’t a rebound, he was taking things slow and that’s why he said he was worried about the kiss on Tuesday. (He even remembered what day of week it was! I didn’t!).
Just over two more hours to go… I am not thinking about the after work, I am not!!! Whatever will be, will be. He’s not rushing home on a taxi, but walking tonight – so it either means that he won’t have to take off earlier, or we are not going out at all. Will see which one it is soon enough.
That’s what I am doing – it’s not a fall, it’s a misstep. Dance on, beauty, dance on!
My gals will now probably go Told ya so! And yes, you did.
I woke up early this morning and texted G. I asked him what his plans were for tonight. Nothing special, he said, just relaxing. Then I said my bus (I am going away for a day) wasn’t until midnight and suggested we go out for drinks. And got nothing in response for about 40 mins. When I got to work, I pinged him for a smoke. He was busy, he said, but he would try. I told him to ping me whenever he was ready. 15 mins later I pinged him.
You know, I think it’s rather G., cause when I went for the second round of dating, the two guys (I’m counting J. in) of the three I ditched weren’t bad, they had their flaws (lots of tattoos for one, too smooth for the other), but the more I think, the more I realize that the reason was probably they weren’t him. I’m not saying I will never get disappointed in the guy, but for now I feel like this is worth giving a chance. A gut feeling. It feels right.
Tomorrow is my last day at the company. Today I wore a rather short dress. G.’s comment – I looked Hot in that dress, he had a hard time not to stare. I told him he would not be that obvious – many guys had the same issue today. Even the guy who is a totally nice fellow, did the checkout thing. And Dutch buddy asked G. why he wasn’t wearing dresses like that – knobby knees is obviously the reason!
Dutch buddy also complained that he didn’t see much of me in the late afternoon – and I told him we are going out for drinks after I am back from Italy, he said yup. I’ll drag G. along. So that it’s not too awkward for the Dutch.
Sitting on a Forrest Gump bench between G. and clueless Dutch buddy, smoking and exchanging jokes. Some moments you want to freeze, frame and put away deep in your memory to come back to them and feel the warmth from it.
I am not going crazy over G. And surprisingly, it’s a good thing. Don’t get me wrong, somewhere deep down there is this heat that makes me feel warm and fuzzy and do happy dances, and yell with excitement in my car after the kiss. But it’s not burning.
I am happy, happier than I were on my own. But it’s a calm happy, not crazy fever happy that I felt with S.. I do change when I am seeing someone for sure. If with S. it was a swing-like, frenzy change every time, I was all over the map, with G. it’s way different.
He is so real, that his real rubs off on me, makes me feel whole, and content and well, myself. That’s why I told myself, no matter what, I am going to trust this guy. As simple as that.
It is also remarkable how I can switch between being buddies to romance and back now with him. I am his buddy at work and when we were having drinks tonight, that’s why the kiss came as a surprise. But then we he called me – it was the romance talk, not just a friendly chat anymore.
PS Now it’s Darlin, Dear, Sweets, and Babe if I remembered them all. Awww. Never thought I was into nicknames. And I love his eyes. Totally. Hands down. Best eyes ever.