He replied…

With a “oh, I was so tired with the exam and the crappy traffic, took me the whole afternoon to recover” text. And then he asked me how my weekend was, and that he was going to spend the whole afternoon doing some work, gardening and packing, wishing me a nice Sunday – translated: “no date today”. Which is a bummer but I get that.

Again, I talked through the whole issue with a girlfriend (thank you for listening, dear!) – and it seems that there are two possible scenarios:

1. Happy one. Where he is honest and he does want to have a relationship with me, but as he told me, he wants to take it really slow – especially after his experience with his ex (exactly his words as I remember them). So totally understandable and suits me fine – I am in no rush and I am willing to accommodate a slow flow. Not every two weeks dates slow, but there were his course and his family crisis over the last few weeks, so I’m dismissing this concern for now. The only thing left that prevents me from saying yay to this scenario (that is, on top of my major trust issues) is the oddities in his behaviour recently – where he basically didn’t invite me over last time, it felt almost like I invited myself (may be explained by his unwillingness to try and ask for sex I guess – to not appear to be only interested in it); no more flirting from him in the texts (maybe some during the meetings, well, OK, definitely some there) (but that can again be explained with him being exhausted from work, studying and coping with his grief, right?); no more conversations started by him – like I said, all our recent conversations were initiated by myself.

2. Depressing one. He either already made up his mind that he’ll ditch me – and even started trying to do it (all the bad signs from above would be explained by that train of thought) – or he may have decided I may not be the right girl to have a relationship with (whatever the rationale – my crazy personality, or the two kids being too much for him to think of getting serious with me) – but he may be fine with going along for now – after all, getting laid every now and then in exchange for my company – or on top of enjoying my company – whatever – is not a bad arrangement at all! This one is very cynical but life has taught me to count the worst case scenarios in as well. I hope I am wrong and I am just a crazy lady with trust issues – whenever we get together, I can tell he cares for me, it’s not me imagining things for sure – and I hope that I may interpret his shyness in a dark way, but Surprise me – this will be my approach going forward, my girlfriend tells me it’s a safe one to have and last night and this morning have demonstrated how badly I need those safety nets!

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