I thought it was a Taylor Swift song, but not really, phew! (Having her for a soundtrack to my life doesn’t sit well with me somehow, call me snobbish!). Whoever that Colbie Caillat may be, I’ll take that.
I’m not as
impaired crazy about this relationship as the song goes, don’t get me wrong, all I wanted to say is that now I believe I got to the stage of butterflies in my stomach and silly smiles to myself when I think about him. Also my work girlfriend said I was different in some way today, but she couldn’t pinpoint it exactly. When I told her I might be developing a real crush, she thought about it some and then said, that that might be it! :)) (There, a silly smile from me!)
For those who don’t have pop radio channels in their cars – the song from the title:
I’ll be damned if that same dress didn’t make similar effect on S. Even the waiter complimented it. It’s the first time in six years that I got one from a waiter! S. actually asked if I was getting wolf whistles from shop floor workers when I walked around. So I take it that he appreciates my looks. :))
I made my only confession that I held back so far – that I’ve been married twice and not once. He seemed to have taken it pretty lightly. No idea if there is a rule on when to deliver news like that, but it sort of came up when he asked if I always preferred men who were younger than me before.
Guess there’s some progress in the getting closer department, now I get some butt touching as part of the parting kiss routine. >_<
An odd thing – at times he picks me up, at times he suggests we meet at the place. Tonight will be the latter. When the place is farther away from where I live, I can sort of get it (like we went to bowling that was midway between our places). But this one is right in my neighborhood. Just being curious, no far-outstretching conclusions tonight, sorry! 🙂
We click so well that it bugs me. I guess it’s all the same issue I analyzed before. But when I see him text when I return from the ladies’ room or when he says he’d loved to meet on the weekend except for he has to clean up the house on Saturday morning, the monster in me stirred. Like in hmmm. Trust issues and fear of betrayal. Same old, same old. That’s my safety net though, so I’ll let it be.
For now at least. My subscription was expiring end of June, my girlfriend reminded me of it last night, I decided to cancel it now – as these guys are famous for ripping you off if you forget to properly cancel, part of the business structure for them, nothing personal.
Going on another date with S. tomorrow – this time we’re going for a stroll in a park and dinner or drinks at a pub nearby. Haven’t been to pubs this often since I left my home country almost six years ago!
Today was the first day I risked putting on a dress that is very short. Like in very very short by my standards. And what would you know – some guys who have never exchanged more than two words with me would spend way more time at small talk! Andrew actually stuck his tongue at me 🙂 He beat me to the coffee machine – we have that joke where I “steal” his hot water when he makes coffee. This time he was first at the machine. When I was there first in the afternoon I actually did the evil laugh. And then had to explain to an onlooker that he was first to start it. Very mature, I know.
Then we had a meeting where he actually took a chair next to me and would poke me into shoulder now and then or point something out on my copy where he had his own. Huh?
And again – no heart racing, no blurred vision, no nothing. Almost. I went for another interview with a nice company during the day too – if they make an offer, I am accepting and not negotiating with my current place. I’m sick and tired of my boss and some people too.
Or maybe it was my friend’s concerned text – where she told me how insane it was to be reacting to someone who in fact is a stranger to me at this point in time…
And then my memory pinpointed it – doesn’t happen to it that often either – anyway, the reason I was freaking out back then (at least partially, but something tells me most of it is due to this) was the way my romance with my ex started. I’m not sure many people know about this, but then not so many people read this blog either.
So we worked together, I had a crush on the guy and we became buddies and started going out for drinks with some other work buddies pretty much every Friday night. We also went to see soccer games at pubs together with not so many other work buddies if any at all. After that we also started in-line skating together on weekends. Just the two of us, totally just friends attitude. At least on his side. Then his girlfriend ditched him and I happened to get stuck in our country and vacation plans for both of us busted. We ended up going on a last-minute booked trip together. That’s where we made out.
But the next morning when silly me was telling him about how we would break the news of “us” to our friends, I knew something was wrong. Big time. Still, I pushed my gut feeling away and we kept the romance going for the rest of the trip. The morning after we returned home I received an “I am too chickenshit to do this in person” email where he was ditching me. I called him, begged him into coming over for a talk and he did. We had a relatively calm discussion and I asked him to just think about giving it a try.
Few weeks later we went abroad – first for a training and then for a retreat – and on our way there he picked up the romance as if he hadn’t been ignoring me the preceding weeks. I was on cloud nine and things went on from there.
Phew, this turned out to be lengthier than I intended! But no matter. My point is – there is obviously a huge monster under my New Relationship bed – and I can feel its claws and grow paranoid any time something distantly smells fishy or seems to smell fishy for that matter. Now that I actually got it into my headlights though, I believe I can handle its growling easier and better. Root causing is for sure useful in some matters, I must give this one to my despicable boss!